What're your favourite quotes and sayings?

Patience seldom found in a man
And never in a woman

 

Easy to remember one spent 25 years in nick the other will get rid of your piles

 

Like sh*t off a shovel

 

Sticks to an army blanket!

 

live and let live....

 

It Leaks like a sieve

 

My Nan used to say
"Wherever you may be, let the wind blow free. In church or chapel, let it rattle"

 

My nan used to say that

" Stick together you lot, like Marmite to an army blanket"
Another one she used to say was

" She's everywhere that Mrs Morris , she's like Marmite in a cow field"

 

My nan had so many sayings , another one I remember
" That Mrs Jenning on the 3rd floor shes always *****ing ill she's got everything that don't kill ya "
Luvly lady my nan

 

A moped is like a fat lass. Good for a ride, but you wouldn’t want your mates to find out...

 

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
The Immortal Oscar

 

"Looks like a bought one".

 

Nah - it's " AAYY?" or is it "EEHH?"

 

John Inman said that long before Nelson Mandela and Pete Townshend wrote it long before John Inman said it!

 

Like a red rag to a bull

 

In the same vein, "oxygen thief".

 

I have a friend who was once a publican, they have a delightful trade saying. Used when one of their number succumbs to an occupational hazard.

What did he die of?

Oh, a numb left arm....

 

2 of my faves:

Don't go down the coal mine granny, there's plenty of slag in your drawers.

It's only the hairs on a gooseberry that stops it from being a grape.

 

My mum used to say that!

 

You’ll be telling me next that Nelson didn’t answer the phone at the ANC by saying “Meeenswear ”...