*HUSBANDS FOR SALE !!!* A store that sells husbands has just opened, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the floors. There is, however, a catch .. You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but, you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord. The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are good looking and help with the housework. "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads: *Floor 6: You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.* *Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your steps as you exit the building, and have a nice day!*
PLEASE NOTE: To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street. The first floor has wives that love sex. The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer. The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
I'm posting this with a heavy heart... As much as I love guitars and collecting guitars, it takes up too much of my time and I am struggling to keep up with the everyday basics such as cleaning and maintaining my home, so something has to give. I will be getting rid of my collection. Below is a list of what's available. Serious inquiries only, please and don't insult me with your offers. Thanks for reading and understanding... 1. Dustpan and brush 2. Sponges 3. Febreeze spray 4. Mop and bucket 5. Window cleaner 6. Vacuum 7. Dishwashing liquid 8. Laundry detergent 9. Fabric softener 10. Laundry baskets 11. Toilet brush 12. Cleaning sprays 13. Scrubbing brushes
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
The Xmas present to please the one you used to love....a hamper full of..... anti ageing cream, fat busting cream, a book on how to dress properly, a book on what makup you should wear, deodorant and soaps....!
The Meteorological Office WERE going to issue a yellow snow warning this evening but decided not to in case people started taking the P
I've had my passport picture replaced with a picture of a marzipan cake. I think it's a case of Stollen identity.
I just changed the voice on my GPS to Bono. Now the streets have no names, and I still haven't found what I'm looking for.
Just spent a few days in hospital across from my bed i saw Sir Kier Starmer in a bit of pain. A nurse came along and pushed a bed pas under him. A few moments later she removed the pan and walked away and sir Kier burst into tears. I told him not to be embarrassed its just part of being in here.. Its not that he said but Ita the first time I've seen my motions carried .
