Noel Gallagher has just written a song about the two German Supermarkets, built next to each other… Lidl by Lidl….
We’re in for a spell of bad weather. Apparently there’s going to be reign, snowe slete and frizin foog!
Went to the doctors this morning. When I got into the surgery, he said he wanted to talk to me about my weight. I said it was about 25 minutes, but at least the chairs were comfy.
My friend told me that putting a potato in your swimming trunks attracts the ladies. I know now he meant in the front.
Man walks into a bar, orders a pint and a pork pie. Drinks his pint, puts the pork pie on his head and leaves. Same thing next day. On the third day the man orders a pint and a pork pie. The barman tells him they’ve run out of pork pies so the guy says he’ll have a bag of crisps instead. He drinks his pint, puts the bag of crisps on his head and turns to leave. Barman says “mate, I’ve got to ask, why the bag of crisps on your head?” And the guy says…..”cos you’ve run out of pork pies”
