Caption time

Peter Kaye

" if that's what happens when you eat garlic (medium length pause) and bread!!, you can fecking keep it "

 

"Smear this all over your van, leave it to bake in the sun then you can claim its a 'genuine' champagne edition when its really an old banger smeared in rock hard Marmite."

Says Ricky to his young Padawan

 

Smell my finger.

 

classic

 

Tw to local restauranteur: And you say this is known as a delicacy round here?
Local: But ofcourse m'sieur ...
TW: But it tastes like sh*t..
Local: That's because it is sh*t m'sieur...

 

TW loses his watch whilst adjusting his piles.

 

Tuesday night curry night wasn't welcomed by the domiciliary care staff anywhere near as much as by the residents of the French OAP home.

 

ewww we are not that close...!

 

Another bad day at the prostate massage clinic....

 

I was wiping.......I farted


Et voila..

 

CHOC LAAAAT

 

After pebble dashing the toilet, TW prepares to do the rest of his house.

 

Happens.......

 

These new gloves are s**t!

 

DONT fluuuush Luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuv , Wipes

 

Sh!t? Taste like mortar to me!