Joke

What’s the difference between a Kangaroo and a Kangaroot?

A Kangaroo is a Kangaroo and a Kangaroot, is a Geordie stuck in a lift.

 

Very first joke on this thread

 

Is it? What a coincidence. I just heard it on YouTube.

 

Yup. Page 1 by @Barry Haynes But his version was better. It’s the way you tell them

 

It’s the way I heard it!

 

I asked the doctor if masturbation was bad for your eyesight. He said, "You're in Halfords mate".

 

It’s amazing, walk to the pub 20 minutes. Walk home from the pub 1 hour.




The difference is staggering!

 

Rang the local newspaper earlier in the For Sale section. They said “It was a pound an inch”.
Bu**er that!” I said. “I’ve got a forty foot ladder for sale!”….

 

What's a local newspaper?

 

What here? Or where you are?

 

Most "local" newspapers are owned by big conglomerates like Reach plc. They sack most of the local staff and fill the paper with national rubbish from their central hq, hence they aren't really local anymore.

 

Ours haven’t. It’s a local paper, for local people…

 

With that reference, I don’t think any further comment is required!

 

Either way… it’s great for lighting the fire.

 

Surely you meant “grate” for lighting a fire…

 

Sorry for the late reply. Someone is trying to teach me a lesson again…

 

Ever tried blindfold Archery ?
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You don't know what you're missing

 

What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
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Anyone can roast beef.




Is that my coat over there?